So apparently I attend the empirically calculated “happiest college” in the United States. Now that raises several questions. As a cynic and a skeptic I have an obligation to prove this notion wrong. However, it seems entirely feasible to me, at the moment. My first method of counter-calculation was to find social reasons for unhappiness. I am used to vain vapid individuals who stir up controversy and strife in order to assign a purpose to an otherwise meaningless existence. This doesn’t work here though. People are too nice. There are no fights. No testosterone driven overly masculine disputes over the rights to a certain woman. No dick measuring contests between men, no cattiness between women. It’s a culture that propagates forgiveness in the face of offense and a lack of offenses in favor of nurturing friendly relationships. Its an anomaly to me, but it seems to work. This is a place where people just want to be homies. Since I wasnt able to find malcontent in student relations, I decided to turn my attention to the administration. This is where I found out WHY we are so “happy” around here. The administration here serves one function, enabling. The “man” here never seeks inhibit. If minors want to drink and party during the weekend Cmc will buy the beer. If a kid wants to take a class outside the path projected for him, he or she can. I feel like this pushes kids towards bigger things, allows them to accomplish more, and, in turn, makes them “happier.” More importantly though, it allows people who have never had the opportunity to exist on their own the ability to THRIVE on their own. The two things that I have traditionally associated with lowering school morale have become two strong suits for this college. A culture of friendliness and a hands off administration. Common goodwill towards other humans combined with total freedom and no inhibitions from out higher ups. I hope the allegorical implications are immediately apparent and present here. I can’t write anymore without a political slant.